Forget all that stuff we’ve been told about never going to bed angry. According to new research, it’s the couples who fight that end up staying together. The survey of 1,000 adults found that couples who argue are 10 times more likely to stay together.
Joseph Grenny, co-author of the “New York Times” bestseller “Crucial Conversations, explains that “the biggest mistake couples make is avoidance.” He says trust and intimacy grow deeper when a couple opens up and communicates honestly with each other, which includes arguing.
And when we fight, Grenny says the top three things couples argue about are money, sex, and annoying habits. Sound about right? More than four of five survey respondents admit poor communication played a role in a previous failed relationship and half blame poor communication as the major reason the relationship didn’t work out. But the thing is, less than one in five think they’re usually to blame when a conversation goes badly.
Grenny explains that real intimacy isn’t just about love, but truth, too. And sometimes being honest leads to arguments, but that’s actually a good thing. No one wants to fight, but it’s comforting to know it’s healthy for your relationship.
Do you and your partner argue a lot? Does this research make you feel better? What do you and your sweetie fight about most often? Did you get into a fight on Valentine’s Day? What was it about? Did it ruin your holiday?